01.08.03 I have a crush. A really big crush and it is consuming my every waking hour and the guilt of the crush is consuming my sleep. It is JUST a crush, I don't think that anything will ever come of it because I would never ever cheat on BF. I just keep thinking like "what if" ... I keep finding myself daydreaming about breaking up with him and then? I don't know, it has only been for the last two days... I love BF endlessly... I love him both as a best friend and as a lover - I can't imagine my life without him. And yet, the more I think about it, the more I CAN imagine it and the more I CRUSH. It just feels better to get it off my chest. Speaking of (chests) and crushes, Robert emailed me today. HE IS NOT THE PERSON I AM CRUSHING ON! But it made me smile, just the same. ----- Original Message ----- From: Robert Sent: Tuesday, January 07, 2003 6:16 PM Subject: whats up to the a-bb-e-y Hey Abbey, This just wanted to say bye one last time. But really to be honest my intention on coming up to the school that day was to tell you that I'm sorry for all the shit that went on. And I really do l ike you might even say I'm in love with you the way I see it is that I've really hung out with you as long as BF did and I fell in love with you. I also kinda guess it's a fucked up thing being that BF was my friend but I couldn't help that. alright finally got it off my chest and I guess I never hear from you again but if your not to pissed after you read this lets maybe keep in touch alright. Peace, Robert |
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