05.12.04 It's been a while since I felt like writing anything anywhere. Not that I really feel like writing, just more of an old habit. B0 went to jail VOLUNTARILY last Friday and should be released on the 21st. He actually just got up and went to his piss test, where they were waiting on him... I talked with his mother yesterday because she called and asked if I could register him for summer classes (since I work at the University) and I agreed. I told her that he would have to be out of jail then because he would not want to miss a class from the four-week summer session - that's like missing a week in the regular semesters. I called his buddy Joy when I got home to tell her the news and to also thank her for helping me out in the "I ran out of Xanax early" department. Her psychiatrist gives her a prescription for 90 BARS a month. A bar is like the strongest Xanax that you can take - like eating about 4 regular blue ones or something. And this girl gets 3 of those bars a day. Whew! My doctor has started me on 2 new meds and I cut out 2 of the ones I was taking. I have about 3 unfilled prescriptions to antipsychotics! I'm NOT taking that shit!!!!!!!! I'm down to Lexapro, Adderall, Xanax, and this new one called Provigil which was given to me by my regular MD. Provigil is usually prescribed for narcolepsy... hahaha, seriously. It had gotten sooooo bad the past couple of weeks that I could barely function at all. I felt like I was covered in mud and had weights tied to all my limbs. It caused me to miss 3 more days of work because I couldn't bring myself to stand up, let alone shower or dress. I was a mess. My plan is to cut out the Adderall and the Lexapro completely. All I need is something to calm me down when I need it and something to keep me awake all day. That's it. That's the answer to all my problems. So... blah, blah, medicine, blah, blah... It's nice now at work because there are no students on campus and I can daydream the day away, read books, play on the net, and THINK. There was a nice rain today that happened sometime between noon and when I stepped out at 4 pm - the quick rain that not only leaves huge puddles BUT smells good and cools everything off. It doesn't seem like spring, though it is. It doesn't seem like any season in particular. |
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