04.24.04 Okay, it suddenly got hotter than a bastard here... I've been so (anxious, antsy, impatient?) since I made the decision. And here I thought that would be the hardest part. The decision I am referring to is "my life", starting new again, quitting that effing job I have (July 30), starting school again (June 1, they overlap a bit), moving in August, marrying BF in October... etc and soforth. It's like once I decided to do these things, I can't wait to do them. I'm a little childish like that - so impatient, waiting on Christmas, can't sleep. B0 met some dreadie girl that he is totally in L-0-V-E with. Only problem is that this girl is sort of "taken" and sort of trying to cheat on her man who is out in California for a few months. He keeps saying that he's just going to be her friend and all that, but he is male (which means that he is automatically lying, hahaha) and he has this dreamy-lovey-dopey look about him when he talks about her. Cara. Apparently she and her man are growers - which is not a good scene for b0 to be in, btw - and part of that whole circus. b0 said he showed her a picture of me and she said that she knew me as Starr (which is my middle name) and met me somehow, somewhere along the way. The thing about that is that if someone recognizes me from that scene - it's either very GOOD or very BAD. Good if they remember my one "job" on the lot, which was selling my hand-sewn dresses and pouches OR helping Allan sell his glass pieces. Bad if they remember me from my other "job" which was getting in with the wrong kids and slinging (at some times) bad shit. Bad if they associate me with that east coast crew (Noah, Buck, Lee, Little Jay, etc). Good if they associate me with the He@ddies kids (Allan, Rick, Matt, Butterfly, Carrie, etc). Funny? All I know is that I'm associated with neither group anymore and that all seems like a VERY LONG TIME AGO and sort of like a dream. I can't even remember what that life was like anymore because I worked hard to detach myself from it so many years ago. Now my life is BF and our circle of friends. I don't know why I got off on that this morning - it just came up. |
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