02.24.04
I think that I'm starting to feel better overall. "I must be happy, he said, it is less pleasant than I should have thought..." Though I was awakened at 4:30 am by the world's most painful cramps. I emptied the medicine cabinet - 1 goodies powder, 2 crusty alleves that were laying out of the bottle, and a fucking xanax. Then I took a hot bath & drank coffee. Surprisingly I feel good now at almost 9 am at my desk staring at diaryland. BF called me at work yesterday & left about 3 messages in about 30 minutes. Apparently he saw my car at the square during lunch where I was eating with a co-worker (who happens to be male) and thought he was going to bust me or something. Then when I got home he confessed that he was upset because it had just dawned on him that he hasn't exactly been treating me very well and that I might just look elsewhere & leave him. Hahaha. I will just let him think that - cause it could become true one day. That's what his dad & friends & even I have told him time after time. The professor that I had lunch with yesterday confessed that he was also heavily medicated for his bipolarism (is that a word?) and has been for the past 20 years or something. Goddamn! I hope that I don't always have to take meds for the rest of my life. And I have to admit one thing - in a previous entry I mentioned that Sprite Remix tastes like "crap" when actually I have acquired a taste for it. I am drinking one right now because the stupid bastards took Vanilla Coke out of the vending machine. |
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