01.31.04
OKAY --- this just added --- I'm changing the password to this diary this weekend. Someone has gotten the passwords to EVERYTHING including my email, my angelfire account, my diary (both of them), bank account, and a bunch of other things. The bad part being that they are fucking with everything AND invading my privacy. Fuckers. That's what I get for storing passwords on my computer... EMAIL me or leave a guestbook note with your actual email address if you'd like to continue to read. My email is awilliam(at)westga(dot)edu.
This is a real shitty shitty thing.
I tried to add an entry to my other diary - but its not "gold" so no luck last night. Instead I'll just use this one.
I'm not in the same mood, though.
Let's see, I've spent the last three days eating xanax constantly. With my morning coffee, with my lunch, after lunch, after work, around the house - before passing the fuck out on the sofa or bed (whichever comes first)... I've taken to carrying my carved Buddha with the screw-off head (hahaha, a gift from B0 who is the most paranoid person I know and likes to hid drugs in fake books and under flower pots) around in my bag. Buddha is the keeper of the prescription comfort - ironic. I don't think Buddha ever thought he'd be used to hide illegal substances. Whenever I start to feel one wearing off, I chew up another and follow it with a sugary drink.
Healthy. No. Maybe. Maybe for my mental health.
It's taking too long for Lydia to get me into another treatment place. A place where the benzos flow like wine. Hahaha.
And speaking of wine, or alcohol in general - I haven't had a drink in about a week. *pats self on back* << laying on the sarcasm pretty thick.
I have been taking a lot of photos - I think I�ll show some of them, though they aren't of the artistic kind but more of the "BF passed out with half his body in the hallway and the other half of his body in the bathroom. Wednesday was his 22nd birthday and his dad took us to the Mansi0n, where BF was allowed to drink as much as humanly possible. After about 2 xanax, 6 Long Island iced teas, 2 shots of Captain Morgan's, and a pitcher of beer - he was a little drunk out of his mind. We had to leave after the beer because he became belligerent, talking loudly, stumbling around, etc... There was a man a few tables away that was obviously having dinner with his wife. This man was at least 100 years old with a full on white beard and little round spectacles. BF walks up to him as we're leaving and pats him on the back - "What's up Santa Claus?", he asks. I exited the bar before I heard anything else.
So then BF insists on riding in the backseat of my car (I have no idea why) while I drive him to our next destination - the C0rner C@fe, to watch R0bert spin on his turntables. BF made a complete ass of himself there too. Big surprise. When I finally got him home, I settled down at the computer to work and suddenly heard a thud from the bathroom area. There was BF, spread-eagle, with his head and arms stretched into the hallway and the other half of his body (legs) propped up on the toilet. I tried to get him up but even though he looks skinny, that boy has got to be 150 or so. Especially when you're lifting dead weight. Anyway, he refused to move and curled up against the bathtub like it was his lover or something. Then he started snoring. I listened to him for a while, figuring he was probably okay as long as he was snoring because that meant he was breathing.
When I was ready to go to bed, I tried to wake him again - but this time, he was grumpy as shit. So I brought him a pillow and my Hello-Kitty blanket and let him sleep there in the bathroom for the night. BUT - not before I took a few photos.... HAHAHAHA. What a dumb ass.
I swear to God he has been milking this birthday thing for all it's worth. Tonight there is yet another party at my house in honor of the big whoptie-do birthday of my fiance. There is currently a keg full of beer ready and waiting in my livingroom for BF and 50 of his closest friends...
Fun times.
I will be sure to take lots of photos because the last party we had, I was too intoxicated to work the camera.
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I've decided to be ultra-prductive today. I got up a bag of clothes to take to a consignment shop. Also, I have a list of projects that I want to start on but being sick for a couple of weeks back at the beginning of the month set me back a bit.
Time to wash down more xanax with the coffee that just finished brewing.
Later - Abbey