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01.06.04

I have to get this off my chest and out of my brain before I blow up. I want to speak to my unwanted houseguest - R0bert - and tell him exactly what I think... only I am very upset, and its not even some things that I can say.

First of all, it has been uncomfortable from the beginning. (Which was sometime around the first of December.) It's not just uncomfortable because I live in a one bedroom apartment with a grand total of 4 rooms alltogether (though it's cramped with just me & BF here...) but it's a little akward considering the past. I consider the "past" a lot. There was drama before because R0bert confessed his undying love for me and BF threatened to kick the shit out of him. Then BF forgave, but it's still touchy.

Vent: The process of logically going crazy while trying to sort out my feelings. There are things about the situation that tug at my heart - then there are things that totally piss me off.

Things that I think about now...

*He has NO other place to go because he has NO parents or family.

*He has no car or other transportation, yet holds a crappy fast-food job. He would spend his last dollar on BF - though he doesn't really have any money.

*He's a super nice guy and would do anything you asked him to do.

Things that I'm angry about...

*It's not like I owe him anything - and yet I keep allowing him to live here on the sofa. Sleep till noon. Leave his mess around for me to pick up.

*He is ALWAYS here. I can't even walk through my own bedroom in my underwear because my apartment is tiny.

*Since he is always here, I never have any time to myself. Or with BF alone for that matter.

*He has yet to offer to help out with anything - food, utilities, gas money, rent - or even to just clean up once in a while.

*He hasn't mentioned anything about his plans for the future. Does he just plan to stay here forever???

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I don't know how to be mean or stern. I don't know how to go about the whole thing. All I know is that I'm getting more and more annoyed every day that passes.

I keep thinking that he'll find himself a place to live. I keep thinking that he'll be gone when I get home one day.

Has anyone else ever dealt with this?

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