10.31.03 The past 24 hours have been shit. (Be ready for more complaining) The day yesterday went as 'swimmingly' as possible seeing as how I was WORKING and there is only a certain amount of swimming that goes on there. Then my session with Lydia where I talked about how much I hate everyone in the world - and how she said that was "normal" and even "okay"... I love the psychobabble about how feeling homicidal is acceptable. So BF starts drinking early. Some new (expensive import) beer that apparently packs a pretty good punch. So needless to say, he was completely hammered by 7 pm. I understand that he is under tremendous amounts of stress because of his father's health and the fact that because of his father's upcoming bypass surgery that BF might, in fact become jobless. (Side note: it's one of those father & son run business, and without "diddy" it's left up to BF and his lack of business skill to keep it running.) I also understand that I can be a little non-supportive of the whole situation because of the TRAUMA that "diddy" has caused me. I think back to one April night about a year & a half ago where "diddy" cursed me to everything he could think of, fired me, and kicked me out of his house. It's hard to feel sympathy now for him, only sympathy for BF who is really the one that will suffer for all this. So after a lengthy argument about my "selfishness", BF decides that he is leaving me. Yep. He is in his closet pulling things down and throwing them into a big garbage bag. Me - there teetering between hysterics and sarcasm... One minute realizing that I have always wished for this moment - but then realizing that I never really wanted it to come. Not now. I went into the kitchen, chugged a beer, and somehow threw out my back while "rearranging" things in the house. By rearranging, I mean having a temper tantrum. I had a hard time sleeping last night because I couldn't find a comfortable position, each time I turned my back screamed in pain. So I ended up getting a total of two hours sleep, just enough to put me into a really good mood this morning. (Sense the sarcasm) And so the morning went. Then the kicker. As I was pulling out of the driveway headed for another day at the office, I was suddenly struck from the passenger�s side by an old man doing about 40 miles an hour. Yep, car is fucked. Missing work today, to deal with insurance/rental/towing. Back is killing me. 3 Xanaxes later, I am still in tears... Yep, I feel good. |
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