10.16.03 Somehow I said that I was changing - but I didn't know that I was lying. I'm not changing at all, but becoming more and more like MYSELF every single day. I was put in charge of a video project for work since "I know computers" (tell me if that makes any sense!) and everyone else is technically challenged. i.e., old as shit. How does being knowledgeable about PCs make you suddenly Oliver Stone? So I get the caemera & go about filming everything in our building as practice. I am standing in the hallway, trying to figure out the different modes of the camera & I accidentally capture 'someone' saying 'something' about 'someone else'... and it was mean & hateful & unnecessary. And I didn't realize that I was even recording until later when I was editing. If I were a different sort of person, I would be affected differently � (Just call me Captain Obvious.) What I mean is that I could have reacted. Inaction. And it made me remember: You should watch what you say at all times - whether or not there is a video camera - because your words are always recorded. [Little memory snippets in someone else's brain.] Because sometimes when it is quiet I can hear my mom or BF or some random person and the words that they said. Words have teeth, you know. I saw Tim at school last night and we talked at the halfway break. He was depressed about his marriage � I saw him writing, doodling on his notes. "Sick of it all" And so at break, I asked him if he was alright. |
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