07.20.03
Nothing is true, everything is permitted. - William S. Burroughs
The weirdest string of outrageously (my new favorite word) uncomfortable situations that I have been in a long fucking while �
Bo called around 6:30 Friday night to tell me that he had just gotten out of jail (again) only this time he was arrested while out on a night pass from the rehab center he has been at for the past 6 months. Typical. I want to scream at him sometimes� he is so close to getting discharged from that place & within a few hours out, comes even closer to staying there forever.
After I hung up with him, the BF & I headed over to Michelle�s place for BBQ. [I have to interject at this point to say that I have never hung out with them for anything longer than a half hour�] Her husband (Tim) met us at the door, wild-eyed and very talkative. He had a mini camping style blowtorch in one hand and a test-tube in the other. I looked around the apartment, which was immaculate, and asked where Michelle was. Their miniature pinscher, Spike, was nervously perched on the arm of the sofa. Tim replied, �Michelle is in the shower�. Cool. I sit on the sofa & BF puts the beer we brought in the fridge.
Okay. Right?
Tim sits on the loveseat and pulls out a tiny plastic baggy full of small crystals. He puts a few in the test tube and turns the (I swear to god) blowtorch on. He proceeds to pull very hard on the end of the tube � sucking in all the white smoke� �Want some?�
I mumble something about rehab� don�t anything anymore� I�m cool, thanks anyways� And I look to BF who is beside me on the sofa. I nod towards Tim, �You gonna hit that?� BF looks a little silly for a minute before he says �Nah.�
Tim takes a few of the tiny crystals out and lays them on the table. He also grabs a razor knife & a half-straw and lays them out beside the pile. �Would you rather snort?�
BF kneels down beside the table & cuts himself out a small bump. I shift uncomfortably on the sofa � Tim takes notice � he offers a half apology. �Does this make you uncomfortable?� I reply no, it�s not a big deal. Everyone knows that I used to get down, but few know about my time getting off of that shit. I say it�s �all good�, Bf can do what he wants� he knows it bothers me though.
After another 45 minutes of sitting there, watching Tim hit his homemade pipe, BF lay out another line, Spike crawled into my lap. I think that dogs can totally sense that weird electric energy. He stayed in my lap for most of the night.
(Spike, the miniature pinscher)
Michelle finally got out of the shower. She came & sat next to Tim on the loveseat where he held the little tube up to her face � she had to get him to light it up for her because she said that she couldn�t do it right. I watched her & him smoke a few more times before I suggested that we get the grill going. After all, I was still hungry even if nobody else was. By this time, a few more people had collected in the living room & everyone was hitting the pipe & chatting ninety-to-nothing.
I excused myself upstairs to their computer room to get away from all that electricity. Suddenly I am followed by the overflow from downstairs� some girl is in the room with me talking to Michelle. Tim is there too. I listen half-heartedly until the girl is talking directly to me. �I am about to take off my clothes.�
What the fuck, man?
(the girl that would later be naked & her boyfriend)
I turn and face the computer. Hahaha. This girl is geeking like a fucking crack head. I turn back just in time to see her naked except for some lacy black panties. Her crotch is shaven & her butt is all dimpled. Ugh. This girl asks me how she looks, I can�t lie, so I turn back around to the computer desk. I hear Tim talking to naked fat girl & turn to see him running his fingers along her panty line. It�s a fucked up scene� especially since his WIFE is standing there watching the whole thing. I simply can�t believe what is going on in the room less than 5 feet from my chair.
I excuse myself downstairs.
The naked fat girl comes downstairs a while later, this time she isn�t naked anymore but wearing a white leather nurse�s outfit. OKAY! I am overwhelmed by uncomfortable ness. BF has made friends with some guy on the sofa that is drinking a beer and is oblivious to fat white leather girl. I sit on the sofa & watch the ever-growing crowd of people who are smoking the never-ending supply of meth in this apartment.
(Michelle, talking & moving a lot)
I sit. I take lots of photos with the flash off, as not to interrupt or draw attention to myself.
Most of them are too incriminating to post here � it was like taking pictures of a fucking car crash. I put some in the Fotolog, though they aren't that crazy either...
Around 12am I nudged the BF to give him �the look�. Time to go back to our normal little house & watch some normal TV & feel somewhat normal again. Sometimes reality is way too much for me to handle.