06.18.03
OKAY! Enough of all that. ----------- Yesterday, after I got off from work, I was walking out to my car when I spotted him. "Him." This guy that I almost had an affair while the BF & I were split for a couple of weeks last spring. This guy is not, I REPEAT, NOT attractive in anyway. Not even in the least little bit... and believe me, I tried really hard to be attracted to him because he seemed really cool. Plus - at the time, I wanted to forget all about BF, someone to rebound with, someone to hug me... and so Tom was that lucky dude. That lucky dude who was in the midst of a breakup with his own GF, Maddie, who was just as much a master of deception and rejection as BF himself. So it gave each one of us, Tom & I, great satisfaction to go on and on about Maddie & BF. He gave me backrubs & told me that I was gorgeous. He listened to me complain about BF. He quoted philosophers & cool movies. He talked about how awesome I was. He was a frickin psychology major. He liked me - a lot. Yeah! He was fucking stroking my ego like a motherfucker! He made me feel like seven shades of special. But I would never even kiss him cause I was still so wrapped up in BF... And now I am glad that I didn't cause it wasn't supposed to be like that. You see, yesterday I saw him around campus & asked him if he needed a ride. I drove him to his car & asked him if he'd like to hang out. I met him at a pizza shop down the block from my house & sat down for what I thought would be a nice conversation. Then I suddenly realized "What ever made me think that this guy was cool?" I don't even fucking know. He just sounded like a complete jerkoff the whole time he was talking. Using "big words" because he probably thought that I didn't know their meanings. It's funny that when we really think that we need someone, their faults (no matter how obtuse) become invisible. Something that would probably tend to drive us insane later, is "cute". Those little idiosyncrasies that endear one to our hearts will surely drive us apart. p.s. I don't really know where I was going with that one, please excuse me. |
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