01.13.03 Apparently God hates me. He felt it was necessary to make it fucking freezing-ass cold for the past month, consequently making my gas bill explode with $447.29 worth of heating goodness! Now where am I supposed to come up with that? Huh? So I immediately turned off all the heat and spent the entire weekend bundled up in full winter-storm gear (while watching TV). ------------------ I have to make a speech today in class - appropriately entitled "My Great Life Lesson". And it is supposed to be some cutesy story about how we learned a positive moral value in a humorous way... It has to last between 3 and 4 minutes... Oh, good GOD! I couldn't even begin to tell JUST one thing that I have learned in my fucking 24 years in this Jungle... 3 minutes? ... Pull up a chair, sister-sledge & I have at least 2 weeks worth of knowledge that I have gained in a weirdo-third-party-funny kind of way. I could write a fucking book. But I doubt that any of it would be considered "cute" or "funny"... well, not funny to a classroom full of morons telling about how they got busted breaking curfew... Sorry, I tend to ramble. I have narrowed it down by least depressing story, least embarrassing story, and the story that is least likely to get me thrown out of school for using profanity... (There is not a whole instance in my life that has been PG 13) But I will try to tone it down for Mr. Dildo that teaches the stupid class. Better not tell the lesson I learned about fucking my best friend's boyfriend, or the one about getting my tongue pierced after eating a half-a-vile of amber liquid LSD, nor the story that involves re-hab - I might just totally blow my normal-girl cover... Nah, I shall make my speech about something totally mundane, which my teacher shall absolutely love. Little drama, no drugs, sex, or "bad words"... Damn, what am I going to talk about??
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