12.01.02 I don't have much time to write an entry here... he will be back soon and he's gotten VERY curious as to why I don't allow him to read my diary.... Last night made me so fucking mad! Friday night Boyfriend was so pissed at Kenny for blowing him off (and sharing his coke with someone else) that he swore that he wasn't allowed back at the house. But then he goes over to his dad's house to "get some beer money" and comes back with beer in hand, AND KENNY... (and also a half an ounce of that stupid shit that I didn't know about!) Here I was on the computer - shopping around Amazon for some Christmas gifts for my mom (& for that bastard, too) I decided to walk into the livingroom to see why it suddenly got so quiet. They had my favorite mirror off the wall on the coffee table, with little lines all layed out on it. They were watching Southpark and throwing beer caps all over the place... I said nothing. I was fucking furious that they didn't even ask if it was okay to bring that shit into the house, then they used my mirror, and just acted like nothing was going on. Then I sat on the couch and stared straight ahead at the TV. Kenny made the mistake of asking "what the hell is wrong with you?" That is when I blew up. I told them both how nobody talked to me like that in my own fucking house - and how disrespectful it was to do what they were doing without consulting me first. Boyfriend acted all self-richeous about it, blah-blahing about how "he lived there too" and "he should be able to do what he wanted to do" and yada-yada-blah-blah... And so then I reminded him how he STILL hadn't paid his part of the rent for FUCKING NOVEMBER, and STILL hadn't paid his part of the bills either, and how I had COVERED HIS ASS since day one.... and they both just stared at me like I was a raging bitch and they couldn't believe what a big deal I was making. Then I proceeded to tell Kenny what Boyfriend had said about him JUST the night before... about how Kenny just used everyone for coke hook-ups and I can't even remember what i was ranting about...and that was probably a little bitchy on my part... okay, that was being really fucking bitchy, but I was soooooooooooo mad! And so they put the shit away, or so I thought. And everyone silently watched TV... But - They started going to the bathroom every 5 seconds, and when I had to go, the door was locked and they were both in there. I cracked a joke about how they were probably getting it on in the bathroom, and once again Boyfriend got ALL MAD... But when I went in the bathroom, there was residue on the sink... hmmmm.... I can't expect anyone to fucking feel anything but how I bring this shit on myself. And then we start argueing about how I drink too much/eat too many pills... and "what is sooo different about my bad habits?" I had such a bad problem with coke a few years ago, that it just makes me fucking uncomfortable to even see it! I guess that I do bring this all on myself. |
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