11.08.02 H is a crooked letter. Heaven & Hell. You have to love the stress of 2:15 pm on a Friday afternoon when you don't get off work until 5. Last night I had a very deep, heartfealt, scraping my brains, letting it all hang out conversation with Boyfriend. OKAY! It was also very ONE-SIDED because he just layed there and snored. He even farted in his sleep as I was crying and that made me laugh.... I am laughing just thinking about it right now. Here I am pouring my little heart out and "Brphhhpt!" But it felt so fucking good to say it out loud. We have been fighting every night for the past 2 months - over the same thing. OVER AND OVER AND OVER. It goes like this.... Scarydoll goes to work, then to school, then to bed. I usually find time that tight schedule to take a dump and not much else. Oh, yeah, I can hang out on the internet all day at work, I can bullshit in the copy-room, but when it comes to making time for anyone outside of Workschoolworkschoolbedworkschool etc.. I can't- or I won't. And so.... Boyfriend feels that I am not attracted to him anymore. He even tried something very out of character last night (candles, massage oil, washed dishes, folded clothes) and while I was recieving my massage, I fell asleep. Then when he tried to wake me up, I got all fussy. I don't know what is wrong with me. |
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