09.18.02 Random thoughts: Its been almost two weeks since i drank myself to sleep... Last night I sat by as Kenny & Boyfriend drink that bottle of tequila. That same fucking bottle of Jose Quervo that has been staring at me from inside the freezer door for the past week and a half. & They were cutting out lines of coke on my kitchen table & chain smoking cigarettes. Boyfriend was concentrating so hard that he looked as if he were performing delicate surgery. & then proceeded to lick his finger to get that last little bit. And I was half-heartedly trying to keep up with the conversation. While trying not to think about how much I would like to partake in all the fun. But we talked about stuff. We discussed the possibility of the three of us flying to NY at the end of October. And how Boyfriend is going to work on "pimping out" his car before then. And how I am going to make shades for the den and cushions for the diner seats. And other things that we've been meaning to do forever ago, but always forget somehow. Coke does that to you. I have forgotten. ********* Take my new survey, it won't hurt... ********* I tried to watch Beautiful People, but fell asleep. And I've come to realize that when trying to understand & follow a movie plot, British accents get annoying. Its just that I was raised in the southern United States and just can't understand you damn English people... And maybe they weren't even British... Maybe they were Irish? I don't know... & Forgive me for being an ignorant fuck. ********* I sit and I wonder about Bo, and think about what he is doing right now... he's probably sleeping... in his tiny cell... I feel bad because he wanted to hang out on Sunday but I pretended that my phone was dead & never returned his call. Then on Monday morning he got arrested again. Being a 2 time convicted felon with a history of time in rehab and prison will not help him in court this time. He has so many drug offenses that I doubt that the judge will "go easy" on him... I doubt that he is getting out this time. I have never wished so hard that someone I cared about would go to jail... but he fucking needs it. Before he kills himself. ********* I sat alone at lunch today and made a mental list of things to do when I get home from work... but as it nears towards time to get off, I feel more like sleeping. |
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