07.26.02 To understand me, you would have to know my mother... We kind of "grew up" together because she was very young when I was born. We also shared a bedroom in my grandparent's house from the time I was 7 until I went to college... During that whole time I never had any friends over to our house because my mom would cry a lot and act insane. Plus- we ate weird things for dinner that only poor or crazy people eat- usually pop-corn, boiled eggs, or cornbread... And I didn't care. Our relationship was weird because of our closeness. When I was 14, she got tired of my friends calling the house so late. So she told them that I died of AIDS. Of course, she thought it was hilarious... Then once when I was 16 she came to a New Year's party I was at with a kitchen knife... I ended up getting in a fight at school the next week because someone called my mom "crazy". I got in a lot of fights because of her. Because I knew that everyone else knew that she was... well, FUCKING NUTS. She would check me out of school 3 times a week because she was lonely. She would call the police to our house just as often... each time the cop that showed up would look at me with pity & try to calm my mother down. "She's just a teenager ma'm" I have banged on the locked bedroom door when my mother would lock herself in... She would threaten AGAIN to just end it all... I know the cold feeling of a loaded gun pressed into my mouth... while being told that I was loved... This is what I dealt with growing up. So I guess that I come off as a complete bitch sometimes. Strike that. All the time. I have been told this by at least a couple of people in my life. But understand |
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