07.10.02 just getting to work this morning...& im dead tired- i dont know how im supposed to make it through the day... luckily my boss wont be here until way later this afternoon...
"pitiful" so anxious & panicked this morning. my stomach is in a knot- my eyes are all puffy- & i feel so heavy. which may be the partying that i did last nite, or possibly the weight of the fucking world on my shoulders... it could be either but i always feel this way after i stay the nite with him. not because of him exactly, but because of our situation... because his house is so fucking <
i think that things got a little more untangled last nite cause i actually talked to J. she was in the middle of her own drama with her mother when i called... if this is all bullshit then im sorry that i seemed to have dragged her into this fucked situation.... but the truth is that i cant believe that B told a big fat lie? or at the least he twisted the details...
so the 15th of august it is? i dont know... maybe. i feel better making him set a date. in the long run this will bite me in the ass. im sure of it. but i just feel like im waiting and waiting and fucking waiting some more- for nothingnothingnothing... i meant every word i said though, i cant/wont wait anymore...
oh, yeah: urghh...someone sent me a FUCKING VIRUS... on my home computer- so thanks to whomever this was... if its not one thing- well, you know - its a fucking hundred other things...
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