08.30.10 What's been up bitches? It's been a good long while... enough time for the once upstanding young lady who drank too much, took too many xanax, and had too much 'free time' to turn into a real live ADULT. The kind of adult that no longer works a crappy job or lives in a crappy apartment with my boyfriend and gets wasted and maxes out credit cards - oh, no! Now you're reading an entry of a GROWN woman with KIDS and that crazy BF is now my HUSBAND and the father of our two children. Not so fast. I still live in a crappy house. I'm unemployed (which is what a "stay at home mommy" really is), I still get wasted (but only when proper childcare is obtained) and I long since ruined my credit... Does that make me - ME? Still? There are lots of memories here in the archives. There are lots of entries involving people who are now deceased, jailed, or otherwise out of my life. The nostalgia of reading these entries is sweetly sickening... I long for those days of eating cheese rice and drinking wine for dinner, seeing how many pills I can ingest before I start to appreciate "jam bands", random and spontanious trips with old friends - my old desktop PC - that "girl" that this diary got started by... I do miss her & that crazy BF of hers. If I could visit her now, just for a few minutes I'd hug her tight and let her know that life was about to get a lot harder and that she should just hold on for a really wild ride into the real world. Then I'd introduce her to the two most beautiful children that ever lived and she'd be in awe that she was capable of anything but destruction. I think I might have saved her a lot of heartache... |
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