12.04.03 I ate a bunch of xanax the minute I got home yesterday. Then I proceeded to change into my hideous yet comfortable orange velvet pants (which my therapist called "fun pants" - hahahaha) and got to work updating my mother's website. I was deep into Photoshop when I heard the doorbell ring... it was my neighbor. The "on-disability-because-of-schizophrenia" neighbor. He wanted to hang out a while because he doesn't have heat in his apartment and talk about shit. While I sat there trying not to slur my speech too much, I asked him to please be nicer to BF cause he is so super-sensitive. BF has been upset about something Neighbor said to him the other day. Neighbor tends to get into moods that I can relate to, but that BF doesn't understand. Then I told him about my "plan" to quit my job, go back to school full time, possibly move, etc... Anyway. So that thought about my plan stayed on my mind throughout the night. Even under the xanax haze. Even when I decided to go to Wal-Mart for no reason (realizing once I was in Wal-Mart that I still had on my "fun pants"). Even when I was back at home hanging Christmas lights on everything that would stand still in my house. And when I finally went to bed, I was still thinking about it. I mentioned it to BF. He usually shoots this idea down when I mention it - saying it's a pretty stupid idea. BUT last night, he told me that he just wanted me to be happy. He also said that he would work two jobs if he needed to... yeah right. But the way he said it was so sweet that I hugged him really hard and fell asleep in a better mood. Because he said that I decided that I would never quit my job. -------- Bo called this morning at 7 am to ask "what we were doing". Excuse me, but what in the hell? ME: "Ummm, same thing we're always doing - working. And what the hell are you doing up at 7 am anyways?" BO: "Hanging out. Wondering if you guys wanted to come over." HAHAHAHAHA. Nobody understands how funny this is. |
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