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12.01.03

Thoughts.

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I can�t remember how to do long division. Fuck.

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So - I almost added an entry at lunch break today, but I thought better... I was so fucking ill for the first half of the day because I had to go back to work. Everyone in the office was talking about how they were "glad" to be back at work after the long holiday while I looked around the room with total amazement and disgust. I mean, are these people really at the point to where they LIKE coming to work cause they have nothing better to do? Geezus.

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I had a hard time falling asleep last night because I dreaded going back to the fluorescent jail cell today. BF, on the other hand, had NO trouble falling asleep. He had a handful of xanax - the last of his stash - and passed out on the sofa. That was after we had the most horribly stupid argument ever. It didn't start with the "Cheetos" but that's where it blew up.

I think Cheetos are absolutely revolting, and was a little displeased that BF had purchased said Cheetos instead of Doritos like I asked for. Yes, I realize that they fucking RHYME! Yes, they do sound alike. And yes, after about 5 or 6 xanaxes they probably even look alike - I don't know. So that�s what I went off about when really it was a lot of other things that had built up over the course of yesterday.

He screamed "I fucking hate you!" and I called him a "cunt-rag". We even wrestled around on the furniture a little bit. He was so slurry that I finally ran into the bedroom & slammed the door.

I was actually pissed about everything wrong with our relationship. How BF doesn't ever listen to anything I say, or think that my opinions are relevant. Stupid? Kind of. But that's the sort of mood that followed me well into this afternoon.

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I need $150 to pay the remainder of the rent because I had to spend rent money on new heaters for the bedroom & bathroom/hallway.

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"Truth is beautiful, without doubt, but so are lies." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

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I had to make up schedules for my student assistants today and it made my head hurt. I am the nicest person to work for, I swear to God. I made sure that none of them had to come into the office very early, and I spaced out their time so that they only have to work a few hours a day. I wish my boss was like me.

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