11.29.03 BF just choked me out on the bed for bowing him in the back. I can't believe that he sets his alarm for 7:30 when he doesn't have to get up until 9... Then he lets the alarm go off for a good 10 minutes while I become wide awake. This morning, he only worsened things by hitting the snooze about a dozen times so that I had to hear the alarm go off for a total of 15 minutes. We fight like small children. -------- BF just called to say he was sorry & he loves me. -------- I did the stupidest thing yesterday - I went to the mall. On the 'day after Thanksgiving'. But I got a couple of gifts for Christmas and got them home (safely wrapped) before BF had a chance to see them. I don't care, I got him stuff that he needs vs. stuff he wants. He would rather wear holey socks and ragged undies than go without records. He would also rather have playstation games than a warm winter coat. That's just where his priorities are... plus, he's a boy - which means that he doesn't see anything wrong with wearing underwear with holes in the ass. -------- For some unknown reason, I have been SO emotional the past few nights. Each night spent crying (or almost crying) about the weirdest shit. Night before last, I watched this AIDS special on MTV and spent the rest of the night crying - wondering if I could have it, thinking about being tested again, crying because I don't even want to know. The night before that, I saw this silly thanksgiving-themed commercial with someone's grandma fondling the salt & pepper shakers. Then they showed a closeup of the grandma's hands - I lost it. They reminded me of MY grandma's hands and I cried. Then last night, BF & I went to Blockbuster and this girl that works there started talking to me. It was so random until I noticed that she might be a little retarded. Then I got way uncomfortable with the way that the conversation was going because we were talking about peircings (she noticed the nosering) and she started talking about people peircing thier "bottoms"... I ducked behind the horror section and did a James Bond manuever through the comedy section. I came out the other side to find myself face to face with weirdo still talking to me. I grabbed BF out of the game section and told him that I was ready to check out. Girl followed me to the check-out line and continued to talk to me. I don't know why I was so freaked out, but later on in the night I started feeling guilty about the way I had acted and YOU GUESSED IT - started to cry. -------- While I was shopping yesterday, I was sucked into the vortex of a major department store's toy section. It was pure madness. There were folks grabbing the $2 Barbies like they were winning lottery tickets, and carts full of toys, and screaming children. I picked up a Barbie and thought about how I always wanted one. My parents, being weird hippie-types, never cared much for the image that Barbie portrayed to impressionable young girls. SO - I never really had normal girly toys or dolls. Instead, I was loaded down with books and educational games while all the other chil'ins were playing with Malibu Barbie & her fucking dream castle. Looking back, I realize that my parents were right - but still. I looked at the case, with Barbie and her "Christmas Outfit" and decided that I would buy it. Later I remembered that BF has a 6 year old neice and I could give it to her. But at the time I threw it in the cart, I felt really really happy and normal. Hahahahaha. I'm such a nerd. |
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