11.23.03 I thought that I was getting sick yesterday because I started feeling all tingly and tired. I sat on the sofa, fully clothed (with shoes on) and immediatly fell asleep. When I woke up, BF had just gotten home & was already on the Fruity Loops (music making program). The house was dark & hot. I felt like jelly. My legs were numb, my face sweaty, my t-shirt soaked. "Hey Pie," BF says, "What were you doing asleep?" -- I never take naps. Let me back up. I stopped by Bo's house earlier to see how he was because I hadn't talked to him much over the past few weeks. He was getting high with this guy that I sorta know from "around"... The house was stuffy and smokey - and random guy was strumming Bo's acoustic, slowly, nodding out and coming back. All the same. Bo was excited to tell me about the past few week's adventures (and when I say excited, you would just have to know this boy to understand how everything is SO EXCITING to him). The last time I saw him was when I walked in on him in my friend's bathroom and he was shooting up. Or rather, the last time I saw him he was lying in his front yard after BF had thrown him out of the car that same night. I asked him how "that" all was going. He replyed by showing me his arm and telling me how he had to go to the hospital because it had gotten infected. It had gotten so infected that his hand had went numb and started swelling. After the doctor had looked at it and given him some medicine - he dipped. He just left all his clothes in the emergency room and dipped out into the night wearing only a hospital gown. He said that he was paranoid about the whole patient confidentiality thing. Oh, Bo. And he had also left his stash behind in his pants pockets. Only realizing this after he was well into Cabbage Town, which is a few miles from Grady Hospital in downtown Atlanta. I can't help but to find him completely ridiculous lately. I try to remember how we have always been best friends and through it all, I have always tried to support him. To be a rock. To be a "constant". I feel like I am throwing my compassion away - useless. "You launch your voice, it dies away in the vault. (It calls that a vault - perhaps it's the abyss: those are words)." But now I find it hard to even be in the same room with him. |
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