10.25.03 It's so weird here in my house this early afternoon... Nobody here but me, chilly & sunny through the gauzy curtains. It almost feels like a weekday that I�ve called in sick for. It�s because BF had to work a full day today for his father, and I am left here alone to consider the past week�s events. There are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before. My mother just called and I talked to her for about an hour! Normally I would cut her off mid-story and make up some excuse as to why I couldn�t talk, but today I just loved hearing her voice and laughing with her. She�s beautiful. I have the overwhelming urge to drive the half-hour to her house & crawl up in her lap. She would surely make it all better. Or not - I can�t decide if what I need is consoling or disturbance, just something to change the mood I�m in. Speaking of crazy moods... Yesterday, my boss let me go home two hours early. He looked at the clock at about 3 and said, "Why don�t you go ahead & close up shop?" I was already logging off the computer before he finished his sentence. So I came home & got ready for the date that BF promised to take me on. After I showered, I popped a couple of Xanaxes and started buying shit off Amazon.com (It only takes a little inebriation before I start to feel the urge to spend money.) When BF got home, R0bert was with him. He had also gotten off early & picked up R0bert to go drink at TGIFridays (thanks guys, for including me). "I thought you�d be at work!" Yeah. But then he noticed that I was all Xanaxed-out... He just laughed and helped me to the car to go out to eat. We went to �our resturant� and had the best meal ever. I barely remember anything except for the fact that when we got home, R0bert was still there & that (for some reason) really pissed me off. I went off about how we were supposed to have some �alone time� and how BF didn�t care and how his friends were always there � ruining everything. So we decided to make a campout spot on the floor next to the bed, where I passed out and proceeded to sleep for 14 hours. Hahaha. I imagine that it�s now time to get off my pajama-pants ass and do something today. |
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