10.20.03 Writing here has become odd. Odd. I had to explain that word to my grad assistant who is from Columbia because his English is so literal . Phrases like "that kicks ass" and "blowing my nose" are taken completely of their denotative value. He thought that by saying that someone was "odd" meant that they were "not even" as in numbers being odd - 1,3,5,etc... I laughed because it really does mean that when it comes out of my mouth. "Not even." The strangest thing about language is that it makes irony hard to explain. But I let myself ramble. Today there was a counter offer on the job that I turned down last Thursday. They are willing to bump it up another dollar or two. I still say FUCK THAT, but I had to talk about it first with everyone I know in order to feel good about still saying no. It's just not what I want to do. Doesn't that count for anything? Hell yes. I have the worst self-esteem problem when it comes to making my own decisions. Inaction. I am always too worried about �what if� to do anything. I am still just the voice. And that is enough for now. --------- BF just went to take R0bert home. Remember him? Well he showed up at our house Friday afternoon & just stuck around all weekend like he had no place to go. He's the kind of houseguest that you don't mind because he does weird shit like wash your dishes or dust your CDs. When I came home from work today, the house was immaculate. It's been a while. -------- Kenny left the most fucked up voice mail on my phone. He was totally going off on me (unprovoked, mind you) about how I should appreciate all the shit that he has done for BF & me. Excuse me? What exactly does he think he�s done for us? He got BF a job where he was fucked over for two weeks of pay. He got BF a job where he worked his ass off and didn�t get compensation. (How many ways are there to say that?) He got BF a job that would eventually lead to BF�s arrest because he refused to leave the premises until he was paid for said two weeks of hard labor. Oh, yeah� thanks Kenny. So he goes all raging bitch on my voice mail. He used the f word in ways I could only imagine � and THAT is hard to imagine for anyone who knows me. Hahaha. |
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