08.24.03 I am not even sure if there is still anyone who reads what I say in here. No pills for me last night. (except for some rolaids & sinus medicine.) No drinks either except for water. I guess that every once in a while; your body will completely buck on you for treating it badly� and mine has. I have been so sick the past couple of days. BF and me. It seems just like the flu, except that it�s the middle of August. I just want to know � who gets the flu in the middle of the fucking summer? Me, I guess. So I have been sleeping & sleeping. Then I either move to the bed or to the sofa from the bed & go back to sleep. I have tried everything � water, medicine, baths, and of course sleep � but it looks as if I am just going to have to �ride the shit out�. Nobody really listens when you say you�re sick. I had to tell my mom 5 times that I couldn�t come to dinner because I felt nauseous. Then I had to tell Bo 3 or 4 times that I didn�t want anyone over at my house because of this shit. He offered me some klonopin (for the fucking flu, I ask?), then suggested some kind of special tea but he never came through� he seemed so out of it, I doubt that he even thought twice about offering it to me. BF�s show was fun in a sleepy way. We got up there early to set up the amps & connect cords � even though I didn�t really help much. I passed the time by walking around outside in the back lot snapping pictures. Got some good shots of Nate�s car (the Plymouth Scamp), which will eventually end up on another flier for the band. I scanned the crowd of kids gathered in that back alley between the corner & Pearl�s... the new generation of "square-kids". Several pictures flashed in my mind of a time when I stood in that exact alley with a skateboard in hand, scheming for money or drugs, bullshitting with my friends until it was curfew. I made eye contact with this one Mohawk-having girl who quickly looked away. She most likely dismissed me as just another adult. Me, looking all "good citizen"... hahahaha... I never thought the day would come. I think that I used to wear my identity. Or try to, at least. I remember what it was like to look at an adult from that alley. The thoughts I had about them or more like what I thought that they thought of me. I just generally thought a lot about appearance. So anyways, Bf�s show. I had to sit through the whole thing, sipping Gatorade & holding my eyes open. They have gotten so much better over the past few months since their first show. I was disappointed that all the people I told to come out didn�t show. Just so sick! And ill, too. I totally went raging-bitch on this teenage girl who kept asking me to pay a cover charge. She was walking around the place with her little jar, asking everyone for 2 bucks. I told her politely the FIRST time that I was not paying. Then she came back around two more times after that and so I got a little annoyed. (don�t mess with me when I am ill) "I already told you, I am not paying a fucking cover." Then I felt bad. "Some men trust to reason, others trust to might... I don't trust to nothing, but I know it'll turn out right" - GD Bo walked in during the last song looking totally destroyed. Because I have known him since we were in junior high, I can tell. I can tell when he�s anything. So I can definitely tell the difference in his voice when he�s high. I don�t even know why this concerns me so much. |
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