07.30.03 Know that Eminem song "Stan"? It was origionally called "Dan". This morning I woke up thinking. Thinking & thinking. One thing that I thought about was this roomate (one of many) that BF & I used to have when we lived in the old house. His name was Dan, but he straight up thought he was Slim Shady. I swear. He came to our house in response to a newspaper ad we had put out for a roomate. When we first met him, he was totally normal... He worked (plus), he seemed to have a sense of humor (plus), he was clean shaven & neat (plus), and he gave us the deposit in cash (plus). All pluses so far? Yeah. That didn't last long. One day I came home from work & Dan was sitting on the sofa in his underwear watching Eminem videos on MTV. He had bleached his hair out blond & gotten a tattoo of "D12" on his forearm. I swear to God. I tried to act all cool as if everything was completely normal. I complemented his tattoo & hair. (Don't get me wrong, I totally dig Emenim alot but this was crazy) It wasn't a week later that he became unemployed. Then he started getting into fights, coming home all beat up. Then, this funky smell started to seep out of his room. Over the course of about a week & a half, it became completely overpowering. I asked Dan a couple of times if anything was 'fucking dead' in there... I was sorta joking, but he seemed to just take offense to that. He started coming home & going straight to his room without speaking to me. He would be in there by himself like 24/7. I didn't even see his car move out of the driveway. I busted up in his room one day while he WAS gone, to have myself a look around. When I got in, I started gagging cause the smell was hellacious! I looked around to see his walls COVERED in Eminem clippings & posters. He had written lyrics on his walls with black sharpie pens. (I shit you not) There was crusty rotten food laying everywhere... clothes all over... cut up magazines... and that fucking smell!!! I ventured to his bathroom out of sick curiousity - YESSIRE, I found the source of the smell. I don't really remember what the conversation went like when I saw him again... Probably me getting all bent out of shape about his fucking "transformation". So anyways, he moved out a couple of weeks later. I still get quesy thinking about what I saw in the bathroom that day. It turns out that he hadn't been flushing his toilet for the past few weeks. For NO apparent reason. Plus I had to clean out his room cause he just up & left everything except for his clothes. Goddamn Dan. I wonder whatever happened to him? |
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