02.07.03
I think that I had a panic attack around noon today... So I wrote a short play about it. Scene one (In the office): I throw down a bunch of envelopes and announce at the top of my voice that everyone can just "fucking suck it!" "suck my big nasty left nut!"... slam my office door and flip off the first person I pass in the hallway. On the way out the door, I light up a big cigarette and flick it right into the accounting bitch's eyeball causing 1st degree burns on her little rat eyes. Scene two: I hunt down my boss's car in the parking lot & use my car to ram it repeatedly until it is completely smashed against the business building. Destroying his stupid toyota camry and at the same time, pinning them all inside the building TOGETHER. Scene three: I speed home, & proceed to ram my stupid neighbor's car back into his own yard instead of him always being in my parking spot. - then I put on pajama pants, cook a goddamn pizza, and proceed to get stinking drunk until I pass out on the kitchen floor, but not before I leave drunken -harassing- messages on the answering machines of everyone that works in my building. Scene four: Wait for the police to come. ---------- Monday, I will be 24 fucking years old. I can remember when my mother was 24 (yes, I can) - then on her 25th birthday, she looked at me and said: "Well, Abbey... I am now a quarter of a century years old!" and I am thinking "GODDAMN, She is about to die!" (Probably not the GD part, because I was barely in the 1st grade,but still). And my dad was still around then. He wasn't much older than she - he was 26. One night his friends were over at our house, and they were all sitting around drinking & listening to my dad's new stereo. I was in the bathtub, listening to their conversation & playing with plastic cups. (When I was little I liked to play in the bathtub more than anything else in the world. Oddly, my mom never had to threaten me to get me in the tub. Yes, I was one of THOSE kids.) That night, my mom came in after about a half-hour to tell me that it was time to get out & dry off. So, after drying myself, I exited the bathroom wrapped in a towel. Everything is still normal... Then I walk into the livingroom and stand right in the middle of the conversation. Everyone is still talking as I stand there and a thick cloud of smoke is hanging over the entire room. My dad is passing a joint to the guy on the ottoman... I am still standing there. I don't know why but suddenly, I throw off the towel & I am standing there butt-naked in front of my dad's friends. Ha. My dad was pretty pissed. I am not sure why I wanted to tell that story. But I think it was because I sometimes remember some of the most random things... |
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