09.06.02 Hey can I get some reading reccomendations? (<< spelling?)I plan on hitting the book store today after work & I always get so overwhelmed when I go in there that I come out with nothing... I like non-fiction & humor... well, some fiction is okay, as long as it isn't romance... HELP ME *************** This entry is a sorta-response, sorta-just-a-thought to what someone said about my last entry... You ARE right. I am bitter. But yet, it's not because I want that all-american dream... (the house, the hubby, the 2.5 kids, the dog, the white pickett fence) it's cause I look around, and everyone seems to be content with exactly where & who they are. Content with their fucking mcdonalds eating lives... content to just fucking BE... And I also know that most likely they aren't always happy. But how does one appear to be so content with life? Me? I'm just not content. I want things to always be more beautiful and interesting than all that... more purposeful than some stupid "ideal"... I don't like the idea of working in order to buy clothes to work in or to have a car to drive to work. I want to know that I have more of a purpose here than that. As a result, I drink a lot & I like to sleep. And that's a big cop-out... Anything to keep from THINKING... thinking about how I am supposed to do this or that. How I am supposed to be June-fucking-Clever. I want to be a beautiful and unique snowflake... haha... (but I am so serious.) And not that my life sucks so bad, or anything like that. I just think too hard about purpose. (And not ending up like these old ladies that i work with.) And the friends that I see- and they are living that contentment- and that, my friends, is what pisses me off. But i digress. |
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